Happy Holidaze

wishing you and your families and friends good health and happiness
through the holidaze and right on through 2009.

...if you are not into the whole santa-thing here's some holiday love from the 'aina (xmas 2007)

12/4: Playoff Poledance

Playoffs - Playoffs - Playoffs

Round One
Na Pahu Piha vs. Loveland (aka Quiet Hands)

Na Pahu fielded a concentrated (10 person) division one caliber lineup and we blew out the gates in the first inning as we batted through the lineup, scoring 6, but unfortunately left na pahu piha with the poorly timed return of "old-rob".

inning by inning 'quiet hands' chipped away at our lead and we began to play down to their level - jefe and toby went for their best bad news bears impression on a few occasions.
a few close calls didn't go our way and we found ourselves down two, faced with our last at bat.

the air was thick, filled with nervous tension.
spencer proclaims....'i'll do a poledance if we win'
evidently, that's the kind of gimmick Na Pahu responds to, but just to keep things interesting we could only muster 2 runs - leaving the score 10-10 at the end of 7.

to extra innings we go...
runner on second to start the inning and Na Pahu breaks serve - shutting down quiet hands in the top of the 8th. Na Pahu's turn at the plate and coach got the honor of second base...them suckas was toast. skaidra eagle-eyed her way to first base with a walk, and then wood chip proceeded to rocket-launch a ball over the left fielders' head - pau.

final score (8 innings)
Na Pahu Piha 11
Loveland 10

on to round two....

...talk the talk you best walk the walk - spencer's poledance:

11/21: Can We Get A Mulligan?

Spirits were high after our near epic upset last game against niele - although it could have also been the free whiskey at Star - or the Willows pre-game beer tasting...Na Pahu again found themselves playing tough against a far superior team (strictly talent-wise, we have a superior vibe) - the Palau Powerhouse. Everyone brought their bat (rob was still ridin' the boob-juice) and fielding was impeccable early on.

after four innings...
Na Pahu 13
Palau 5

chuck was rubbing his eyes in disbelief...then the alarm clock went off and we woke up from our dream....inning 5 - not so good. the Palau powerhouse decided to start playing (and hit with baseball bats i might add - that's bullshit by the way)...or was it the pitching change?

toby now has the distinction of being the first Na Pahu pitcher yanked mid-inning, but before you call coach an asshole check the line - it reeks! (and at least he got to sit on the bench - relax - and enjoy a cold beer)

wood chip: 0 outs recorded, 12 hits, 12 runs (a few errors but whose counting)

jefe runs out of fingers trying to assess the damage

jefe returned to the mound - not to fare much better
all told for the inning...Palau sent 21 to the plate - scoring 18
it was absolute carnage - chuck put us to sleep after the top of the fifth

i hope you took the over...
final score
Palau 23
Na Pahu 15

rob (post-boob): 8/10

Na Pahu - somber in defeat

11/13: Ladies Night

Na Pahu faced what undoubtedly would be a lopsided affair against the league champs - Niele.
it was to be another shot of Na Pahu concentrate as we expected to barely be able to field a full team...but, in reality, came up a few short. Na Pahu Piha fielded it's first ever wahine rule lineup: 5 homegirls 4 homeboys - coach was confident.

maybe it was the full moon? maybe it was na wahine? me thinks the latter.
Niele came swingin' out of the gates and homeboy hit one off the tree in right field - despite the big bomb - jefe held them to 3. Na Pahu set themselves up to creep back into it - for at least an inning - but those damn three-out foul balls really bite you in the ass.

Na Pahu played exceptional defense for the remainder of the game and we had more double plays than errors - you catch that?...more double plays than errors....more double plays than errors.

sadly - we couldn't hit for shit - but nonetheless put forth a valiant effort in defeat ... this performance will go down in the Na Pahu Piha Hall of Fame as one of the greatest games we ever played.

final score
Niele 5
Na Pahu Piha 1

11/6: Bi Bim Bap'ped

...turns out they weren't korean

bi bim bap 9
na pahu piha 3

rob (post-boob) -> 6/6 = 1.000

10/30: Rob-a-licious

a rematch with On The House - who have the dubious distinction of providing Na Pahu Piha with it's first ever victory. the night started off innocently enough... newbie phoebe knocked in hemant (...already redeeming himself) to put Na Pahu up 1-0 after two innings.

it's quite clear that the momentum shifted in Na Pahu's favor during the third inning...as two (although i guess technically four) of rob's friends showed up....and what fantastic friends rob has! it appears rob just needed breasts to straighten out his swing?...as he promptly lined one that dribbled into the outfield*. it was all downhill from there for On The House - inspired by the drive-by flashing Na Pahu dropped 6 in the fourth - hilighted by a 3 run infield dribbler turned inside the park home run by Phoebe - and 5 in the fifth...after the fifth Isaac put On The House to sleep and out of their misery

final score
Na Pahu Piha 13
On The House 1

yes...that would be SLAUGHTER rule, and yes, two victories in less than 7 days

* - a new feature of the blog will be a running tally of rob's batting statistics (post-boob)
as of 10/30 -> 3/3 = 1.000

10/29: Can't Spell Hemant Without The "E"

our bellies full of victory from the P-ass game, Na Pahu was expectedly due for a smack-down...and Matsuno was happy to oblige...maybe they are still pissed b/c we beat them in that scrimmage a while back

the hemant error machine was well-oiled and in full effect tonight - muff after flub after bobble after fumble - eh, you get the picture...we had him on suicide watch post-game.

unfortunately chuck wasn't there to fix the game and allow us to score at least one run and save some dignity - but hey...you give that up everytime you don the blaze orange and take the field for Na Pahu, yes?

final score*
Matsuno 16
Na Pahu 0

* - for those keeping score at home we have now lost to Matsuno twice with a combined score of 32 - sunny...brutal, eh?

10/24: Payback's a Bitch

ah...good 'ole P-ass - if you don't remember these jokers, here's a refresher.

while we didn't have the numbers - we fielded a 9-person Na Pahu concentrate (becuase we only had 3 wahine)...it didn't trip us up in the least bit. The game proved to be as much of a nail-biter as our first matchup, but that's only b/c they got some Palau power (4 Palauan ringers that accounted for all of their runs and about 80% of their defensive outs)...but we had the power of bootz
overall, a rather lackluster performance by Na Pahu, definitely playing down to our opponents - but we did manage to pile on 8 runs in the third inning which proved to be enough.

game ball goes to jefe for coming up big on the mound...top of the 7th inning, up by 2, 2 outs, winning run at the plate - who just happened to be the first of the four Palauan studs that hit in a row - and jefe gots him to pop up and jefe makes the catch - PAU, bitches!

Na Pahu 9

P-ass 7

...way to show those social workers the harsh reality of life (as if they don't see that enough)
Chuck witnesses his first Na Pahu Piha victory - and is proud!

10/16: Championship Rematch

...the long-awaited division 2 Summer Championship rematch...Na Pahu Piha vs. Umi Kumakahi

sadly, coach was busy in Bangkok getting physically removed (and nearly arrested - i think?) from a muay thai boxing match for drinking outside alcohol with homeboy Samak
...according to the scorebook it looks like we lost.

hopefully homeboy let his wahine swing the bat this time - the repeated orders of 'don't swing' during the championship game was awful - especially when he told me that i should have had our wahine walk - nuts to that, na wahine are better than i am.

final score
umi kumakahi - umi kumakahi (how convenient, eh?)
na pahu piha - 'eha

10/2: Notsoweezee (pt II)

so it turned out that cobra kai bailed at the last minute - they must have heard that coach ordered folks to practice their crane poses...providing us a chance to avenge our loss the prior week to Mixed Plate - aka the rogue Hawaiian Telcom team that formed their own team because they didn't like their coach....don't get any ideas suckas!

upon realizing that we got hosed out of our last at bat in the previous matchup we agreed to get an extra 3 outs in our first at bat. unfortunately, while everyone playing was okay with it - the sketchy substitute umpire tweaked out on some ice-induced power trip and threatened to leave the field (after nearly throwing miriah out of the game before she was even able to take a swing at the plate)

during pregame jefe was treated to a rousing motivational finger squeeze by our beloved Na Pahu mascot - Anwar...jefe proceeded to head out to the mound and put 'em away - 3 up 3 down
It seemed that we just might have a chance tonight...unfortunately the blessing did not last and Mixed Plate hit through their line up in the second inning ... and the third inning...and the fourth inning.
too much 'Prime Time' for Na Pahu - a true double threat - he shut us down on the mound then proceeded to get a hit every at bat....the runs piled up and toby, given his first chance to work the scorebook, could be heard muttering 'this is really stressful' - well NO SHIT - welcome to my world!

final score

Mixed Plate 17

Na Pahu Piha 7

9/25: Game Two - Notsoweezee

game 2 of the doubleheader saw Na Pahu come crashing back to reality...season one style play from Na Pahu in the field - and before we know it - we be down 5-0
jefe settled us down and we played a consistent and competitive game (if you take out the first and last inning). in fact - we actually didn't get our last at bat for some reason - i will be filing a formal protest with chuck.

Hawaiian Telcom B: 14
Na Pahu Piha: 6

9/25: Game One - Itsoweezee

let the scorebook tell the story:Final Score:
Na Pahu 18
Quiet Hands 4

9/18: New Season, Same Result

Opening Day - Season Two: 9/18

pre-game spirits were high as Na Pahu reacquainted ourselves after the long off-season and relished in our silver medal performance from season one...also, i think a few folks had already started drinking

The evening marked the debut of Na Pahu Piha's official mascot - Anwar (...4 months into life and already representin')...as well as the return of some long lost players (Miriah, Joe, Ayesha) and some newbies (Afsheen and Spencer) joined the mess that is Na Pahu Piha...we were rolling deep with 18 players on the books.

It turned out to be a record setting evening as Na Pahu had it's first game where we did not give up any runs in the first 2 innings...and second consecutive 7 inning game...all in all, we played a solid 6 innings (down 6-4 after 6), but we done bought the farm in the 7th.

Final Score:
HI Telcom - 12
Na Pahu Piha - 4

word on the street is that Fantasy _fill in the blank_ is hot right now - costing the nation billions of dollars in reduced workforce productivity...so for the fantasy softball players out there here is a summary of Na Pahu Piha fantasy results from week one

Fantasy Studs
1. Matt (2 h, 3 rbi, 1 r)
2. Miriah (every out at first base, 1 ntnspc)
3. Anwar (7 innings and no poop)
4. Toby (1 rogp)

Fantasy Duds
1. Coach* (0 h, 1 pah, 5 bc, 1 e, 1 bf, 1 dd)
2. Ass Coach (showed up but didn't play??)
3. Hemant (1 pah, 1 e, 1 cttsi)

h = hit
rbi = run batted in
r = run
ntnspc = no take no shit protest call
rogp = rolling on ground play
pah = pulled a hemant
bc = beers consumed
e = errors
bf = broken fingers
dd = drunk dial
cttsi = car towed to sand island

* as of 9/20 - Coach's status has been upgraded from doubtful to questionable for the upcoming doubleheader thursday 9/25.

love
coach j

9/5: 40oz of Defeat - Na Pahu Settles For Silver Medal

a valiant effort from Na Pahu in the championship game. we had the game tied going into the last inning, but couldn't shut the door - eh, we had the winning run at the plate though.

i think it was the first complete 7 inning game that we played.
final score:

Umi Kumakahi 5
Na Pahu 3

good enough for the silver medal.

no time for rest...season 2 is right around the corner.

Na Pahu Piha Bum Rushes Championship Game

Honolulu Citywide Softball League

Division 2 Championship Game

Friday, September 5

7:30pm

Na Pahu Piha

vs.

some poor suckas

9/3: Playoff Victory: A note on color theory

A tumultuous dip into the waters of democracy to decide uniform colors was quickly calmed by the life vest of authoritarianism as coach worked behind to scenes to provide the best color for the people. our duds arrived in time for the playoffs - just the kind of gimmick we needed. energy was high as each member of Na Pahu appeared to glow as soon as they adorned their blaze orange jersey

"what in the hell? - orange?" a few of the ungrateful muttered. well, here's a simple explanation for simple minds....let me diverge into color theory for a moment...in color theory, two colors are called complementary if, when mixed in the proper proportion, they produce a neutral color. As applied to softball - Na Pahu languished in sky blue to the tune of a 0-12 record. So if we throw a dolop of orange on there we should get on the right track towards balancing out that losing record - 'neutrality' if you will.

I pity the fool that tries to argue with this logic once we win the championship on Friday night.

...now on to the loss of innocence...

The game reeked of intensity from the outset as the field was dragged and watered pre-game and the opposing coach was whining about my substitution strategy (apparently illegal) - all hints that this game was fo' real.

Na Pahu won the toss and took the field. The cloud of intimidation was thick as Na Pahu took the field in a Blaze (orange) of Glory - the other coach went so far as to complain that we had too many people in the field - sorry buddy, nice try. However, 'twas a typical first inning performance for Na Pahu as we played the field a bit tight and apprehensive - 'House' puttered out 5 runs - swinging bunt after swinging bunt with a few walks thrown in the mix. Na Pahu countered with a whopping ostrich egg in the bottom half - t'ree up t'ree down.

'House' somehow managed to essentially bunt in two more runs in the second inning leaving Na Pahu in very comfortable surroundings...down 7 runs. In the Na Pahu half of the second we decided to loosen up and let the foreplay begin. solid hitting performances from Na Pahu Piha - newbies and oldies alike - made the game a bit more respectable at 7-3 with the bad guys still in the lead.

Inning three proved to be the lubrication inning - taking care of business in the field and getting into the groove we tallied up three more runs to make the game 7-6

Legal substitutions took place in the fourth and Na Pahu didn't miss a beat. our 'student section' that arrived late to the game hit the field in full stride oozing a puss of intensity (maybe due to three innings of drinking on the bench?) and 'House' couldn't even get a measly runner on base. The infield made some mindblowing plays.

Bottom 4 saw the official deflowering of Na Pahu as the first 7 batters got basehits - nearly all of which made it to the outfield - with the highlights being a monstrous homerun by Wood Chip and a 2-rbi rip by Skaidra...after six runs in, two runners on base, one out and Chuck declaring that there were only 9 minutes left in the game - jack decided to have mercy on the poor fools and proceeded to hit the infamous three out foul ball (perhaps on his first swing? not sure exactly) - but don't kid yourself - he hit the shit out of homegirl-on-the-other-teams' car...kinda like mother theresa jamming her thumb in your eye.

'House' was able to bat one last time, and while we toyed with them and let them get some runners on base the Na Pahu defense shut the door.....and we win?!?

Final Score

Na Pahu 12

On the House 8

...on to the championship game

behold - Na Pahu Piha - undefeated in orange:

special thanks to all the fans that made it out to the game - mommy skaidra, metz/carini/fitz, zach's homegirl and homeboy, nate/gayle lurking in the urine-soaked bleachers, one dude i can't remember his name - and all those with us in spirit.

love - coach j

PLAYOFF SCHEDULE

we got this in the bag - without a doubt. ...40's on coach when we win dis buggah.

*Breaking News* - uniform election results

Associated Press
August, 23, 2008 - Manoa, HI

Na Pahu Piha went to the polls this week, at stake - uniforms for next season.

The Final Vote tally is summarized below (100% reporting):

Purple People Eater: 1
Cotton Candy: 0
Violet Beauregarde: 11
Wood Chip: 11
Wood Chip au lait: 2
Can't Decide: 0
Different Color: 0*
Not Na Pahu: 0

Per election rules, Violet Beauregarde and Wood Chip were scheduled for a runoff on Monday, August 25. However, an injunction was filed late Friday by City and County of Honolulu Board of Elections Administrator Tye Chump, indicating that incidence of voter fraud were reported in the kapiolani district. After review, Chump officially nullified the election results late Friday night, calling a special sealed-ballot election to be held early Saturday, August 23. "I could not be happier with how smooth things went this morning" Chump noted of the special election.

Shirts have been ordered...scheduled to arrive September 2, 2008

* - technically there were 15 votes for 'I'm a loser and want a different color'. However, self-loathing is not an attractive quality and therefore counts for nothing. As a member of Na Pahu Piha, you should reek of confidence and pride.

you like one uniform?

aloha Na Pahu - it must have been the uniforms that were holding us back, eh?
Below find the finalists* for the Fall season duds - try vote on the left frame - you got until Friday to have your voice** heard. NO funny business on the voting you dirty bastards - you get one vote

Option 1: Na Pahu Piha Purple People Eater
Option 2: Na Pahu Piha Purple People Eater with blue cotton candy stuck in teeth
Option 3: You're turning violet, Violet! (although it looks more like light blue, huh?)
Option 4: The Wood Chip - part of the Toby Wood Fall 2008 Collection
Option 5: The Wood Chip - au lait

*-if you don't like what you see...tough shit...we'll probably get new ones next year
**-your voice is subject to coach, ass coach, and jefe approval with coach willing to veto democracy if need be.

Na Pahu finishes its inaugural season a perfect 0-12 !

8/8 Showing Improvement

Wassup Na Pahu!

Great game on Friday! With some last minute additions to the team courtesy of Jefe Ramirez we were able to narrowly avoid our first forfeit and put together one hell of a team effort. We were just a run down going into the bottom of the second to last inning when the wheels came off. This week will be your last chance to flash some leather and/or get a hit as it's our last game of the season. Still waiting on someone to dive for a ball and of course we all want to see Rob get a hit without killing Chuck in the process. Let's see how big a group we can run out there for our last game.

Please let me know if you'll be able to make it. Game time is 730 on Friday, August 15th. Try to be there for drinks, pupus and warm ups at 6:30. Aloha,Hemant

8/1 Friday Rompin

last week was pretty brutal. we had to borrow a person from the otherteam, we forced sunny's poor mother to roam around aimlessly in rightfield and now probably rightfully resents all things american, caitlin couldnt keep score for the other team because she was chasing keikia round and rob would have had his first hit had he remembered to step on first base, but he made sure to throw the bat at chuck. i made sure to drink enough that night to forget about the whole thing, but its been haunting me ever since. so this week, a whole new ballgame!!! and we gotta pull out our first win while justin is away.

7/11: HI and tight

with socks held high and musubis in our stomachs - Na Pahu made a triumphant return to action in the Citywide Softball League.Things were looking bright early (literally - our first game under natural light) as Chuck rolled up with a sarcastic 'hey, anybody lose some bats?' and busted out our long lost bats - left for dead - with a greasy grin. I'm sure there was a bit of awkwardness in batworld as the trusty red-handled wonders - spending three weeks in a strangers' truck sharing space with a bunch of invasive reptiles - now saw themselves resting next to 'The Warrior' and 'The Maverick'.

Umi Kumakahi were a formidable collection of ringers (the other coach was introducing himself to all his players before the game)...but were still one wahine short. Unfortunately, for the sake of sportsmanship - coach had to pimp out ass coach for an inning. Luckily it was a quickie trick - one and done - and back to where she belonged. Na Pahu was chock full of new faces - and good lookin' ones taboot. All-star performances were had by all the Na Pahu virgins - Allison, Lindsay, Elizabeth, and our Polish sausage - Leo.

undoubtedly, everyone finally got around to reading the book that i handed out at the end of the last game because our defense was flawless...truly unbelieveable and inspiring (Chuck was impressed). with all that said - we still lost...but it couldn't have been closer as we were tied 1-1 going into the bottom of the 5th inning. Umi Kumakahi dropped in a few dinky pop flies and all of a sudden got real serious and cruised around the bases scoring 2 in the fifth. However, Na Pahu stood strong and had the winning run at the plate in the top of 6, but just couldn't git 'er done.

final score: Umi Kumakahi 3 - Na Pahu 1

...word on the street is that the team we play next week sucks.

love,

coach j, ass coach nic, jefe ramirez

"one for the books...." (Bettinger 2008)

that's right.... what started as a simple practice/drink-in-public session turned into Na Pahu's first-ever win (even if it was just a scrimmage)...the evening started with an honest round of batting practice....

we got into a groove...

it felt awkward at first, but before we knew it we were causin' damage - bustin' cups
...one of coach's favorite cups, obliterated by a scorcher down the line - kory - bringin' the payne! the kaimana klassic cup bit the dust about 15 minutes later...even ass coach was feelin' it...

catchin' blue moon, eh?

Ozzie approved of how Na Pahu was playing...

Matsuno hovered in the left field bleachers...watching us take infield like professionals

..."you like scrimmage?" they muttered. coach said, 'shit yeah'

it was on.

...despite losing 16-1 to Matsuno a mere month ago, Na Pahu hit the field - head held high, chest out - ready for retribution. The first inning saw solid defense from Na Pahu...if it weren't for an awful error by coach in left field, Na Pahu would've broken serve...instead, coach blew the play - new glove, yeah that was the problem? next pitch = grand slam over coach's head...Matsuno 4 Na Pahu 0.

Still riding the positive vibes from practice - jefe and ass coach found themselves on base. rob toed the plate...the stars aligned, yet again...and this time he done got himself his first base hit of the season.it was all downhill for Matsuno from there on out - they couldn't handle the beast that Na Pahu has become. we were drinking in the field - with only 7 players....getting unassisted double plays from center field... we even let balls hit us in the knee cap and hip-checked balls in the outfied - just to keep the game close....when all was said and done - it shaped up to be about:

Na Pahu 12
Matsuno 8

the Citywide Softball League bettah watch out for the second half of the season.

love

coach j, ass coach nic, jefe ramirez

6/13: T'ings wen get spooky

...perhaps we should have seen it coming, after all, it was Friday the 13th.

Na Pahu gathered pre-game as the sun dipped into the Pacific Ocean - the lineup was thin, but solid...maybe it was rogue barbeque, maybe it was the moiliili men's room, or maybe all the crusty sky-blue shirts that didn't get washed from last week - but there was something in the air
our opponents? none other than dem buggahs from the local phone company - Hawaiian Telcom.
Na Pahu busted out of the gate with 4 quick runs in the top of the first - oh so easy...like liftin' copper wire - only to have 2 taken away because we screwed up the rules (...yet again). either way...after half an inning:

Na Pahu 2
HI Telcom 0

Reality set in soon as Hawaiian Telchump waddled up to the plate in the bottom of the first with their bats on their collective shoulder (and the associated wahine walks - Chuck you got some stupid rules) - u like walk or play softball? walk? ... okay losers ... i'll be sure note that junk on my check when i send in my next bill....memo: swing the bat chumps!

after 2 innings we found ourselves in familiar territory...
HI telchump 12
Na Pahu 2

the depressant effects of alcohol began to overpower Na Pahu - heads hung low - ass coach was feeling especially distraught
...but coach had a 4 of clubs up his sleeve.

it seemed an opportune time to inject some tapatio! bust out the secret weapon - jefe ramirez
...who - spiting doctor's orders in an inspirational moment that left not a single dry eye in the city (...or at least the Na Pahu bench. well, i think i saw Kim cry, maybe just had some dirt in her eye though?) - took the field for the first time.
the gimmick seemed to work as Na Pahu buckled down on the defensive front - giving up a mere run in the 3rd and a measly run in the 4th inning.

fast-forward to the top of the fifth....
HI Telchump 14
Na Pahu 4

den t'ings wen get spooky.....as the hits rained down as if the four horsemen of the apocalypse were riding into town - consecutive hits from zach, kim, toby, kalani, jefe, kory, rico....and...eh? wha' dis!?!
NA PAHU PIHA!!! mo'funka's!! ... mark toed the plate - called his shot to left field ala Babe Ruth - and promptly lined it to homegirl in right field that had no chance in hell of catching anything ... she couldn't catch hepatitis from the ala wai.

Na Pahu history - a grand plate lunch for mark - that's right, 4 scoops of rice with that one!

...this is what is looked like from the third base coaches' box.

Na Pahu struts into the mid-season break - heads held high - ready for the second half (...and ready for uniforms - more to come)

final score:
HI telchump 14
Na Pahu 11

love
coach j
ass coach nic
jefe ramirez

6/4 : Na Pahu shakes things up - lays an egg

Feeling stagnant after a fourth consecutive loss Na Pahu altered her strategy against a formidable Niele squad - a team that embarrassed the team that embarrassed the team that embarrassed us

ONE - a number of us switched to hard liquor with the belief that the extra carbs were bogging Na Pahu down.The first fielding attempt at third saw coach throw a skyball that nearly made it to Willows! ...perhaps a little bogginess isn't bad - we'll have to find a happy medium for next game - maybe boilermakers?

TWO - Na Pahu showed a (nearly) united sky-blue front against Niele with the first team-wide t-shirt color mandate.....perhaps we need a more aggressive color?
...or perhaps we need our pitcher to get with the program and wear the right color shirt?

T'REE - Na Pahu brought the numbers with a record attendance of 17 people. It seems the word has gotten out....and we proved that bigger is better - our errors per person (EPP) ratio was way down - nice job Na Pahu! - we even rounded up a zombie with a handlebar-soulpatch combo so that if Niele wasn't nice to us he would eat their brains.
...in the end we came up a bit short as Niele batted about .950 for the game and no pity runs would be had

Final Score:
Niele 19
Na Pahu 0

eh...at least we got some used softballs out of it

love
coach j

drinking in public....or softball practice? yeah - that one

Na Pahu hit the field - pau hana - for it's inaugural practice, in the hopes of impressing Chuck sometime in the coming weeks....or at the very least for the opportunity to drink in a school zone.
Na Pahu proved to be especially focused on the task at hand...
...coach attempted to explain to toby that one is not supposed to slide headfirst halfway between third base and homeplate, but should - in fact - keep running until one actually reaches homeplate.
coach made an effort to practice not falling on his ass in left field....with marginal success

skaidra worked on throwing runners out at homeplate from centerfield - textbook form - except that mark wasn't paying attention and the ball hit him in the shin...

hemant gave his best derek jeter impression at the plate - but looked more like chuck knoblach

...and everything went downhill from there.

watch out Chuck (...and Niele) - here comes the new and improved Na Pahu

coach j

5/21 - anybody can win a game...so we don't have to

the vog had lifted, the stars were aligned...
...but we got our asses kicked anyways.

It was fitting to call the game when we finally scored a run. Despite extensive efforts by Chuck - requiring us to only get 2 outs on the other team and some blatant calls in our favor...'SAFE?!? - what am i thinking?' he could be heard mumbling under his breath - Na Pahu couldn't catch a break.

Final Score:
Matsuno 16 (...although it felt like 25)
Sunny....errrr Na Pahu 1


love
coach j
ass coach nic
jefe ramirez

5/16: Game Two - Police called, Na Pahu lose

the police escorted Pablo off the field, but didn't seem to notice that we were being assaulted by Ka'alawai. Those suckas started off with 12 straight hits - 9 runs in the first inning. No pity for Na Pahu - they claimed that it took them two years to win a game, me thinks they lie.

Highlights on the defensive front:
a 3-out foul ball by the first batter in the third inning that minimized some of the damage.

Highlights on the offensive front:
Sunny scores, Janna and Mark 2-2 (both are hitting 1.000)

MVP: Keith's hat - which flew off his head at least 33 times over the course of the double-header

final score:
Ka'alawai 17
Na Pahu 4

love
coach j

5/16: Game One: Vog-a-licious

under a thick voggy haze Na Pahu took the field for the front side of a double-header against our soon to be arch-nemesis 'Public Assistance'. We were two players short, but thankfully jill from cobra kai (...yeah like karate kid) stuck around to fill in for us so we didn't get hit with the 'not enough wahine rule'. Na Pahu jumped out of the gates in the top of the first with the first five Na Pahu batters reaching base (nice lineup coach) - scoring 3. however, in the bottom half, after coach fell on his ass and dropped a two-out fly ball, P-ass picked up 2. After one inning Na Pahu 3 - P-ass 2 .... fast forward to bottom of the sixth, bases loaded, 2 outs, tie game - how did Na Pahu get here? - and Public Ass drops one in for the game winning run. Final Score, P-ass 5 Na Pahu 4. Perhaps too premature for the win, but Na Pahu looked good, and P-ass looked scared - using the 'walk' method - losers...but hey they are social workers, they need something positive in their lives, we'll give'em this one

MVP - Janna: the Shack-attack

solid first base, 3 - 3, 2 RBI, 1 run scored (should have been 2 runs scored - stupid rules)

co runner-up MVPs - Alice and Alice

love - coach j

'Schools Out!' - same time same place - twice the fun

Na Pahu -

time to quit crying over our opening day performance and get focused - games 2 & 3 - Friday 7:30pm & 8:30pm (this is directed primarily to rob, but i'm sure a few tears were shed by others)

this week's promotion:

'Schools Out' - Alice Cooper Night

in honor of Na Pahu's UH students and faculty finishing up the spring semester... 'schools out for summer...' (sing along). Come dressed as Alice Cooper and you get to pick your spot in the batting lineup and depending on how good you look you may get to pick where you play in the field...for reference:

this will get you the cleanup spot and centerfield for sure... in case you didn't pack your skulls when you moved to hawai'i or sold your stash at the last garage sale this one* may be more practical...
* - just so we don't encourage any bad habits - alice should really tighten up on his grip

see you friday
bring yo swing...and bleeding eyes

love,
coach j
ass coach nic
jefe ramirez

Na Pahu finishes a close second....

...but we're no Eight Belles - we live to play another week
if you take off the 3 we actually won 2-1.
i would like to say we played well and it was a hard-fought loss, but i wasn't there - so i won't.

from the looks of it we were at least intimidating - constantly yelling and drooling on ourselves - it was a good strategy that may pay off for us in the future

jefe ramirez provides the recap for the week:
"game summary? ........game summary? i gotta game summary for you - we got our assess handed to us after they chewed it up. rob hits like a girl and no one knows what they are doing."

well said jefe.

Na Pahu - use this as motivation for next week - let's get chewy!

coach j
ass coach nic
jefe ramirez

gloryhallistoopid !

that's right - it's softball season...Opening Day! - this Friday (May 9) 7:30pm

be there roundabout 7 for talk story and get yo pre-game buzz on

(be it through mental exercises visualizing your home run swing, hydrating with water, or chugging 40s - doowatchulike)

this week's promotion - 'Bring a friend to the ballpark'

...that's right - come to the ballpark to play some softball and your friend gets to play as well - what a deal!! fun for all, and hopefully we won't have to forfeit our first game.

i'll forgo a shirt-color mandate for this week...wear whatever color you feel will make you the best softball player you can be...and we'll let the vibe guide us to a team color

the citywide softball league has no idea what it's in store for once Na Pahu hits the field

shoots

love

coach j

ass coach nic