NA PAHU PIHA

10/26: Winning

2011-10-26T21:22:00.002-10:00

Na Pahu climbs back into the win column - first win since June 17th.

...nearly flawless defense and enough hits when it counted towards the end

Na Pahu 6

Sofa Kingdom 1

10/12: SKUNKED

2011-10-25T19:35:00.002-10:00

...not the good kine

Chuck seemed to not want anything to do with Na Pahu after a last minute forfeit a few weeks ago...although to his credit he did give us an extra two innings to save face - no face to be saved

Outkasts 12

Na Pahu 0

9/9: Thank you for coming...

2011-09-10T19:58:00.002-10:00

....we had a good turnout although another 3 wahine showing had Na Pahu playin' down a few in the field.

it seemed things would get out of hand, but we actually hung around...it wasn't that hard

Datswutshesed: 11

Na Pahu: 5

Season 'It would be nice to field' Eleven

2011-09-09T22:56:00.005-10:00

6/17: You Always Hurt the Ones You Love

2011-07-05T20:12:00.000-10:00

why do we always hurt the ones we love?

another battle with our friends at public assistance. this was as close a game as one can get with PA scoring a run every other inning to slowly build a 3 - 0 lead after 5 innings...luckily we finally realized the urgency plating 3 in the sixth and two in the seventh to wrap up a victory for the good guys and sent marsha to mainland as a winner.

Na Pahu Piha 5

Public Assistance 3

6/10: Badass Wahine Ball

2011-06-11T23:02:00.000-10:00

....probably the most badass team to hit the league (since we joined)

"out of your league" fielded an unconventional lineup with choke wahine and a few token guys - they were rolling about 15 deep on the ladies with 3 dudes. scoreless through 2 innings until a little wa'ahila decided to show up and chuck delayed the game so he could stand under the umbrella and made everyone leave the field - about 30 seconds later all the wahine took the field in the rain waiting for chuck to call game on - badass.

Luckily our bats came alive and our (almost) all-Lisa infield were even more badass and we were able to coast to the bleachers with a victory...and for those scoring at home Na Pahu Piha has won 7 out of its last 8

Final Score:
Na Pahu Piha 15

Out of your league 5

Season Ten: Holy Moses!

2011-06-02T19:41:00.004-10:00

NA PAHU X

1. Thou shalt have no other priorities before softball (eh, unless its something good)

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images of Chuck (unless he deserves it)
3. Thou shalt not take thy ump Chuck's name in vain (unless he deserves it)
4. Remember the softball day, keep it holy

5. Honor thy coach and ass coach, email lest one play or not play and try pay dues

6. Thou shalt not kill a good inning by hitting a foul ball over the fence
7. Thou shalt not leave Na Pahu for another team in our league
8. Wahine shalt not take a free walk
9. Thou shalt not tell Chuck you will go see his band play when you know you aren't
10. Thou shalt not covet the other teams bats

.....and Season 10 begins

4/20: Double Birthday....What Does It Mean?

2011-04-24T17:45:00.000-10:00

the week was eventful in that Na Pahu actually got to take the field and play a game - dueling birthday celebrations, taboot.

the game...eh, not so much...with the exception of....

Niele 10

Na Pahu 1

4/15: This is getting old....

2011-04-15T23:47:00.000-10:00

annudah week annudah rainout

no can get one game in

4/8: Pop Quiz

2011-04-10T21:21:00.000-10:00

how'd the game go you ask?

well, what do the following have in common?

see you next week

4/1: Everybody plays the fool

2011-04-10T21:15:00.000-10:00

Na Pahu finally got to get back on the field...and despite the months of rain we didn't show too much rust. Early on Na Pahu was coasting with a 5-1 lead and with only 9 players Scared Pitchless was stuck with an automatic out at the end of the lineup. things were looking good.

unfortunately...april fools suckas...we slid into auto-pilot...fell in love with the popfly...made a few silly errors and sure enough we found ourselves in a tight spot...down 5 going into our last at bat

however, in true na pahu fashion we stormed back with the winning run at the plate only to come up a few runs short - wasn't meant to be...good showing nonetheless and it felt good to get some softball action.

Who wants some action?

2011-03-24T21:52:00.001-10:00

Will Na Pahu play on Friday April 1?
Yes - 200
No + 140

Season 9 Recap So Far... (cartoon version)

2011-03-21T22:47:00.002-10:00

week 1. Rainout

week 2. Sloppy Game against Datswutshesed

everyone was frustrated on this one - shaking off the rust from season 8

week 3. Rainout

week 4. 100th Game

....and Na Pahu is victorious in Game #100 !!!

week 5. Rainout

week 6. Rainout

week 7. Two touchdown beatdown (20-6) courtesy of Sofa Kingdom

...and they seemed to be extra Sofa Kingdom!

week 8. rainout

Season 9: Make It Rain

2011-03-21T21:48:00.000-10:00

How many games can we get rained out in a single season? ... the race is on

Season Eight Playoffs: Round Two

2011-03-21T21:44:00.000-10:00

Na Pahu gets a horrible draw for the Season Eight playoffs and has to get through a play-in game against a recently demoted HMSA.

after 5 innings of un-Pahu like play we found ourselves with a comfortable lead ready to march into a playoff championship game against Public Assistance....until...

it got ugly...na pahu ugly...no make no plays so no championship game. bummin on the bleachers instead. season 8 pau!

Season Eight Playoffs

2011-01-10T19:19:00.001-10:00

1/5: Add Another to the Rack

2011-01-09T15:50:00.002-10:00

Na Pahu gave her best division one impression - holding a lead on Niele for the first four innings, stumblin' for a couple and ultimately storming back with 8 in the last at-bat to end up with a hard-fought tie. Good momentum for the playoffs.

Final Score
Niele 13
Na Pahu Piha 13

2010: Earthquakes, Icelandic Volcanoes, Eclipses - Oh My!

2010-12-29T15:35:00.000-10:00

been a wild year and we going out with a bang - earthquakes in Iran and Japan - torrential floods in California (and a bit of rain here too, eh?) - the moon running blood - blizzards despite global warming - tea party shenanigans...is the world coming to an end?...depends who you ask. i'm sure many of our newly-elected washington folks are rootin' for the rapture.

but unfortunately, we can safely say that Na Pahu Piha softball in 2010 is over - and i'd say 'twas not a bad one...we won 10 games, nearly swept the division 2 championship for the year, and didn't have to forfeit a game

plenty more Na Pahu in 2011. see you then

12/8: Bubble Boy

2010-12-11T22:45:00.001-10:00

It's official - Hemant needs a bubble. In his defense, he is a trooper and played through the pain, going home with the equivalent of a golf ball on his forehead and his leg - with the latter oozing some sort of puss. However, his injury rate is rapidly approaching his batting average. Maybe next season in addition to the league fees we all chip in to buy him his own bubble, i'd bet a softball would fit in them holes.

Na Pahu fought through a tough double-header schedule on a wednesday night - facing the division 1 runner-up and the division 2 champion - with the "weeknight" hangup. Although I would say it was some of the best softball that the city-wide softball league has seen in awhile.

In the first game against the Outcasts (Matsuno) Na Pahu had 2 home runs and was knotted at 5-5 after 5 innings...unfortunately, the bad guys were able to plate one during their last at-bat....me thinks it may have been the first time we haven't gotten mercy ruled against these guys (see 5/21/2008, 10/29/2008 blog posts for representative examples)

Final Score
Outcasts (Matsuno) 6
Na Pahu Piha 5

Game two was a rematch of the Season 7 division two championship game - you know that one where On The House denied us a three-peat. dem buggahs! not much to really comment on this game - pretty consistent division two softball play on both sides. On The House charged out to a 6-3 lead and Na Pahu crept our way back into it. down one in our last at-bat, Steve was heads up on the base paths and more or less stole home as they were putzin' around after the second out of the inning. saved the day for Na Pahu as it looked like we were done for and we came out with a tie. mo bettah than a loss - and given the reaction from a few of the competitive folks on OTH...it felt like a win.

Final Score
On The House 6
Na Pahu Piha 6

12/3: The Winds of Mo'ili'ili

2010-12-04T23:27:00.001-10:00

they say it is windy in wyoming, but wyoming had nothing on mo'ili'ili this past friday night. Na Pahu found itself in a blustery matchup with our good friends Public Assistance and a chance to even up our record for the season.

a quick three-n-out on defense and we had an all-star lineup that looked poised to post a quick 8 (at least) and put the game out of reach in our first at bat...a solid leadoff was followed by a solid letdown - an droopy 3 out-er onto king st.

PA plated one in the third and Na Pahu answered right back with a quick one and seemed ready to blow it open with two on and coach promptly dinked it back onto king st. for another dirty 3. some officiating shenanigans and the remnants of coach's 2-out 3-out dump from the prior inning and PA was in good shape with a 3-1 lead after four innings, on pace for the fastest game in softball history.

inning 5 and Na Pahu finally came alive - i guess the allstar lineup just needed a warmup round because the scorebook got a lot darker the rest of the way...and Na Pahu cruised back to 0.500 for the season

Final Score

Na Pahu Piha 10

P-ass 5

while we deeply missed the presence of our inspirational leader...jefe was nice enough to share a photo from the wedding he was attending in America South.

11/19: Frosted Tips Strikes Again

2010-11-20T13:14:00.000-10:00

move over public assistance Na Pahu has found a new arch-nemesis in Sofa Kingdom - who seem to be good folks with the exception of one who plays true to the team name (say it one syllable at a time). Our second battle with Sofa Kingdom this season played out fairly similar to our first - just Na Pahu played the comeback role this time.

Na Pahu was down 12 - 3 after 3 and was not playing very motivated softball....a big two-out rally in the 4th leveled the playing field with Na Pahu crawling back to within a run at 11-10....with the final inning call, Na Pahu went out and slopped it up to to allow four big runs and set up a 5-run deficit for the last at-bat. A typical end of the game rally followed with the winning run at second - only for coach to hit a hard line drive right at second base which turned into a game ending double-play. bummer, eh? Frosted tips was pumped, and in classic form, made sure everyone in mo'ili'ili knew it....so as they say:

"A tie is like kissing your sister" - Eddie Ederlatz

Final Score

Sofa Kingdom 15

Na Pahu Piha 15

However, unfortunately for Na Pahu, upon further review of the score book the day after it would appear that Na Pahu actually came up short

Final Score (after further review)

Sofa Kingdom 16

Na Pahu Piha 15

"If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out"

- George Brett

...so there you go - although it could have been worse - like if the potential post-game fight between rob and frosted tips went down - fortunately nobody let that happen - although if it did happen i would imagine it would have gone done something like this.

11/10: So Close...Yet Not

2010-11-15T18:13:00.000-10:00

A rather unenthused, slightly hungover na pahu crew congregated on Wed for what we expected to be a lackluster performance. Much to our surprise, na pahu opened up with a good inning. HMSA countered with one of their own. The unavoidable na pahu defensive inning took place somewhere around the 4th inning. Then, trailing 3-8, Doug opened up with an infield homerun. With 1 out and runners on 1st and 3rd, Sean knocked a whopper over the fence!!! Unfortunately, it was the side fence, giving us 3 outs. A good defensive stand kept the bad guys at 8 and though we started our inning with one out, we came out strong. Doug knocked another monster into the outfield and was nipping at Lisa's heels as he came home, making it 6-8. Then we did what pahu does best......get more outs to lose the game. It was a good hint of a rally at the end and the crew was fired up, but we faltered once again. At least the other team were'nt dicks.......but they work for HMSA, GODDAMN IT!!!!

10/22: Akua

2010-10-24T22:40:00.003-10:00

eight seasons into Na Pahu softball have shown that adequate (or at times excessive) pre-games can lead to interesting match-ups on the field....tonight proved no different.

Na Pahu was short wahine but got by with a little public assistance - mahalo to our favorite pseudo-nemesis.

me thinks we played the game under Akua - the second of the four Hawaiian full moons - and Akua means God/Goddess as well as corpse, devil, and idol (...according to the internet and it has never been wrong before)...which can be the only explanation for what transpired.

in the context of Akua...

our assorted pre-game poisons had Na Pahu either feelin' like Gods/Goddesses or directly speaking with God from the top row of the mo'ili'ili bleachers....no doubt trying to avoid the pain of a looming division 1 matchup....unfortunately, we took the field and played like corpses. D dropped some steamy dumps on the mound and Datswutshesed had plated 10 before we even got an out. vintage Na Pahu. by the time we were able to scrape together 3 outs they had dropped a foot-long on us...not very pleasant.

Chuck played the role of devil...challenging my coaching abilities during the first inning, saying that i was stupid for taking the home side, b/c the game was already over and we hadn't even batted - wtf? although i guess he had a point.

Unfazed ('err...completely dazed?') Na Pahu chipped away in the first with 3 quick runs to make it a respectable - for Na Pahu - 12 to 3. A surprising hold in the field and some bang bang bang from the bottom of the order and we got a 12-9 score after two....a huge 2-out over the fence foul sealed 'shesed's mouth for two more innings allowing Na Pahu to creep up at 12-11....at which point chuck bellows the '...10 more minutes' basically saying this is our last chance.

the bats came alive and some voodoo from the bench allowed Na Pahu to put together a chunky 15 minute beatdown seemingly ending it as an unbelievable comeback win for na pahu at 15-12....but chuck reared his devil horns and sent us out to make us earn the win....a task that we were NOT up for.

A quick 6 from the bad guys had us hanging our heads looking at a 18-15 deficit.

lest you forget the full moon - Na Pahu claws back with some mucho gusto from the newbie chunk of the lineup (4 in a row to be exact)...ties the game at 18-18 and who, of all, is gets the idol award for game winning hit? come on - guess? no, seriously? well...not that serious...

full moons are scary.

Na Pahu Piha 19
Datswutshesed 18

Sloppy and Choppy

2010-10-09T10:39:00.002-10:00

our game against ka'alawai was not all that different from a session in her waters.

we knew it wasn't gonna be pretty, but headed out there and enjoyed ourselves anyways. A few newbies got to experience the ride - and a few of the regulars got tossed around a bit. An early 9 run hole proved to be a bit too much to overcome, but a pair of na pahu homeruns made things at least moderately respectable.

ka'alawai 13
na pahu 5

...clearly the most intriguing part of the night proved to be the post-game gig that team frano scored.

....maybe we can squeeze a guest blog post out of them?

Ipu Piha (Sofa Kingdom game pt II)

2010-09-28T18:15:00.002-10:00

a view of last week's game from someone who was actually there...courtesy of guest blogger

It was the latest game in Pahu history with a 9:40 start time. Some kind of timer malfunction pushed the Pahu Stadium lights back one hour. 9:30 gametime vs. HiTel. The Pahu family was sparse with only Jefe, Stephen, Rob, Meaghan, Jamie, and Devan on hand. Our new nemesis and last season champs, On the House, was partying major at the bleachers pregame and a very drunk sparkplug from their team, that Rob named Spitfire for the evening, was determined to recruit enough players for us to play. Even Rob couldn’t believe how drunk she was, and HE had already committed to not driving after the game (his truck remained at Pahu Field for at least 2 more days).

We finally got enough help and had 2 players from On the House and 2 players from Public Assistance join the Pahu family for the evening. And based on the pregame, Ipu Piha should have been the team name for the night. (Ipu means bowl and Piha means loaded)

Pahu came out swinging and took a 16-1 lead after the 2^nd inning with 5 runs in the 1^st and 11 runs in the 2^nd. Devan brought the smoke on the mound, struck out 3 in HiTel’s first 2 at bats and kept them to 1 run. Then the pregame Ipu Piha crept up on #420 and the pitching fell apart. Inning 3: 2 walks led to 4 unearned runners with the Wahine follow-up-walks and HiTel scores 8 more. Pahu gets a few more runs for some security, but the pitcher went from a little too high to cottonmouth blind. Pitches were going behind the batter, over chucks head, falling 10 feet short, all over the place. After giving up another 2 walks plus 2 wahine follow-ups and a few hits the lead was in serious jeopardy with Pahu now up 19-15. Quoting Towlie with a claim of “I have no idea what’s going on” the pitcher pulls himself and puts in Jefe who gets the job done like he was peddling chicle to cross the border.

Ipu Piha wins 19-17

Sofa King Great!

2010-09-27T10:16:00.000-10:00

Na Pahu Public House - a veritable division 2 all star squad - took the field against Sofa Kingdom to start off season eight. A 2 hour delay courtesy of the city&county light timers - Na Pahu Public House had no problem loosening up and stormed out to a quick 16 - 1 lead through two innings. A couple of Sofa Kingdom (aka Na Pahu) innings in the field and them Sofa Kingdom buggahs were back in action.

Luckily for Na Pahu Public House Rob blocked a last second field goal securing the 19-17 victory for the good guys.

Season 8: OctoPahu

2010-09-26T19:34:00.001-10:00

Season 8

Dynasty ..... CANCELED !!

2010-09-15T22:08:00.007-10:00

Season Seven - Division Two Championship Game

Na Pahu came out fighting but quickly settled into a lull and played like we had been here before - almost like we expected to win...unfortunately, On the House were hungry for their first title. A "Na Pahu" inning set us back and all looked lost. However, down 8-5, 15 mins after Chuck yelled "10 minutes" we got one last chance to make it a game and Na Pahu arose from the dead to notch an exciting 3-run inning...tying it up. Solid defense in the field sent the game into extra innings. In the first extra frame Na Pahu came up empty and On the House managed to squeeze in a run with two outs to claim their first title. Good for them...enjoy it while you can - next season we take it back!

Na Pahu Piha 8
On The House 9

stay tuned for season 8.

All you want to do is ride around....

2010-09-11T19:03:00.006-10:00

Season 7 Playoffs - first round matchup with Public Assistance - normally a walk in the park, but we are fresh off a loss to them suckas. we were light on numbers and weren't sure we'd be able to field a full lineup. it didn't look too promising.

however, during warmups a screeching howl shook isenberg...and as soon as rob rode in on his white stallion - i knew we were on our way to the championship game

a typical Na Pahu P-ass game. close throughout - a little slop here, a little slop there ... a blown call here, a blown call there - tie game through 4. then our recruit from american samoa blasted a 3 run homerun to secure the victory for the good guys in orange.

so the cosmos have realigned and we put public assistance back in their place...at home waiting for next season...and na pahu marches into the championship game looking for the three-peat.

Na Pahu Piha 8
Public Assistance 5

Breaking News !

2010-08-25T22:21:00.003-10:00

Hit the snooze button Na Pahu

2010-08-12T18:20:00.005-10:00

after a tough game against the D1 champs Niele, Na Pahu gets a well deserved break before the playoffs...time to clear our heads for a bit and strategize our back-to-back championship defense

we return to action in September...so stay in game shape and get ready for the three-peat

Hang your head in shame!

2010-08-04T10:46:00.006-10:00

Na Pahu has flirted with this moment a few times in recent seasons, but the dreadful day finally came....A loss to Public Assistance.

Na Pahu last fell to P-ass in it's second game EVER. P-ass has been slowly upgrading their roster over the past six seasons - picking up essential pieces here and there, but really they just happened to play a solid game and Na Pahu VII came out playing like Na Pahu III

the game was close throughout and we rallied to tie the game in the sixth
...only to fall in the last at-bat (same as the first time we played them)

P-ass 7
Na Pahu 6

embarrassing - On the House replied accordingly..."Public Asssistance ? oooooohhh - yeah we lost to them ONCE too". such empathy

even our old friend Ozzie felt the pain...on the bright side - Elijah wasn't there to enjoy the moment - so that almost makes it worth it

Na Pahu Piha VII

2010-07-31T10:07:00.004-10:00

Na Pahu Piha - Season 7

Back to Back Champions !!

2010-07-31T09:49:00.005-10:00

2/26: Earthquake at 2nd Base

2010-03-04T18:37:00.005-10:00

You know we were in for a big matzo ball of a game when the 8:34 game time aligned with the exact time the earthquake hit Chile. Yet the stream of crappy smack flowing from the other team made it clear that the only “Dat” they were able to “Get” came either in anabolic or alcoholic form. Fun started when the other team aggressively kicked Pahu out of our usual dugout, cuz de wanted dat, as they felt that was normal behavior for someone older than 9.

Blood spilled early and just kept coming. With Coach uphill skiing for cheese, and our Mexi-Jefe peddling chicle at a mariachi show, Pahu had to dig deep into the roster and bring in Big League Bases Loaded all-star Kristy, who came to the plate and smacked the ball hard, but spun her wheels in the dust like Wile E. Coyote and eventually bit it, gashing her knuckle. Band Aid #1. Pahu came out swinging in the second scoring 5 runs with solid cracks from Lisa K, Devan, Toby, Jamie, Mike, Kristy, and Joe. Pahu 5 – GD 0.

Pahu dominated defensively shutting Dem down allowing only 4 base runners and one run in the first 4 innings. More smack from the bad guys, several warnings from Chuck. The last out of the 4th came as Roving Rob pulled up a skipping rope and send it along to Meaghan, who proceeded to tag the runner out with her face. All attention turned to the (afraid but not injured) base runner that was riling around on the ground and freaking, but one by one Pahu realized that Meaghan was calmly down on one knee, covering her nose with blood running down both arms to both legs and dripping on the field. First responder Jamie was on the scene like a champ. Quick first aid kit from Chuck and we had Na Pahu Clinic on site, rubber gloves and all. After the blood was cleared and nose deemed likely not too badly broken, Band Aid #2 and game on.

Meaghan stayed in the game like a champ and returned to the field for the last inning, which was a classic Pahu inning. One out from the victory and we give up 6 runs. But before it’s over Rob saves his glove the pain and takes rover rope to the shin, which bounced between his legs like a pinball and left thread marks in his shin that still remain. Band Aid #3 came from a can.

Pahu looses 7-5, but at least we had Tsunami Saturday to inebriate and recuperate.

MVP – Meaghan

MVDr – Jamie

2/19: Kickin' It Old School

2010-02-20T00:03:00.005-10:00

Na Pahu won’t let a championship get to our heads – we know where we came from.

We keep it real!

So for Season Six Opener Na Pahu took it back to the roots…2008-stylee against Ka’alawai.

First two innings were tight…1-1 game…then the all-too-familiar ‘Na Pahu’ inning hit (it has been awhile) – balls flew all over the place – coach conveniently lost track of the score – eh, call it 9-1.

...long story short – Chuck pulled the plug when it hit about 16-3, euthanasia.

Nostalgic game – hurt so good.

Na Pahu Piha VI: Ready to Rock!!

2010-02-19T23:39:00.003-10:00

Na Pahu Piha
Season Six
Defend the Championship!

2010-02-15T19:06:00.001-10:00

Na Pahu Piha 13
Public Assistance 3

1/27: Grill dat cheese!

2010-02-15T18:41:00.004-10:00

magic was in the air - or maybe just chuck's swine flu germs? either way Na Pahu battled through a game in which all seemed lost - a few times over - and ended up with a monster victory to move on to the championship game.....
Championship Game:
Na Pahu Piha vs. Public Assistance

who you got? and how much you got on it?

1/8: Season 5 Playoffs

2010-01-10T11:45:00.003-10:00

Na Pahu 2010 new years resolution: dominate
so far so good...Na pahu spared no mercy in round one with a near perfect game.

Na Pahu Piha 16
CCH 2

off to round two...i can smell a championship match up with p-ass...can't you?

10/23: Subdural Hematoma

2009-10-25T22:42:00.004-10:00

float like a butterfly...sting like a lemon...Na Pahu up to bat in the first and drops eleven...

Public Assistance didn't know what hit them - clearly a textbook case of subdural hematoma

weakness or lethargy
irritability
numbness
inability to speak
ataxia, or difficulty walking

there was no recovering as they stumbled about for 5 innings - they were able to make it respectable - but clearly will never be the same.

Na Pahu Piha 18
Public Assistance 10

Na Pahu Piha - Season 'I got 5 on it...'

10/16: A Beast on the Mound

2009-10-25T22:27:00.003-10:00

little d in the field and big D on the mound - a beastly performance - holds the Slackers scoreless for 5 innings. a foul ball onto king and a foul ball onto isenberg definitely helped us out.
Na Pahu was riding high with a 11-0 lead as Chuck belched out '5 more minutes'...a few old school Na Pahu style calls for the Slackers provided them some dignity.

Na Pahu Piha 11
Slackers 3

10/9: Rotten Mangoes

2009-10-25T22:12:00.003-10:00

new team - similar result
down for most of the game, Na Pahu battled to make it a game
last inning - na pahu piha - 2 outs, winning run at the plate for Na Pahu.
unfortunately, our hopes rested in the season 5 goat - and a dribbler to the pitcher closes it out

final score:
Makaha Mangoes 6
Na Pahu Piha 3

10/2: birfday!

2009-10-05T20:54:00.003-10:00

more empirical evidence of what really makes Na Pahu tick - booze

a pitcher full of birthday cake shots provided ample lubrication for Na Pahu to play her loosest, smoothest, and arguably best game yet.

matched up against the mighty ka'alawai we overflowed with liquid courage, boldly dropping a cool 4 spot in the first inning and playing solid defense in the bottom half to take the first inning 4-0.

unfortunately, all the running around the bases, scoring runs, and sliding catches seemed to have worn off the buzz...and full of birthday cake we crashed hard letting ka'alawai lay a garden gate (that's 8 for the non-bingo folks). after two innings good guys down 4-8

Na Pahu played respectable for a few innings only to creep back into it (as we like to do)...some clutch hitting in the last inning saw the score narrow to 7-8...with runners on first and third with two outs and big bad joe walking to the plate to send Na Pahu to a tie - at a minimum - and then......
Ka'alawi 8
Na Pahu Piha 7

Season ......

2009-09-16T21:31:00.000-10:00

6/19: Like A Walk In The Park

2009-07-07T19:45:00.009-10:00

move aside public assistance - Na Pahu Piha has a new arch-nemesis - Hawaiian Telcom

lest you need a reminder of Na Pahu's epic last inning come from behind victory against HiTelcom to start off season fourt-ty, check it out

pre-game, homeboy was quick to point out our last game with an arrogant tone suggesting that it was some kind of fluke!?! bold coming from someone in a satin jacket with his name etched in it*

a solo homerun from steve-o in the first inning (reminiscent of a mark nelson poke) was about all worth writing about for Na Pahu during the first five innings. the game got away from us early and we didn't do such a great job of staying close. going into our last bat HiTel held a chunky lead of 13-5.

however, Na Pahu has developed some attitude here in season four-ty and would not go away (nor swing the bat). the pitches got junkier and junkier as Na Pahu walked our way to a respectable showing at 13-9...but we weren't done yet - a poke here, a walk there...another walk and another walk...and another walk...

low and behold, Na Pahu crept back to tie the game 13-13
and the DeVaghan prefix found himself with a chance to win the game...
3 balls 2 strikes, 2 outs, tie game - Na Pahu Piha .... and .... ball 4
Na Pahu scores 9 in the last at bat to steal another game from HiTelcom

Final Score
Na Pahu Piha 14
HI Telcom 13

a true team effort as every player for Na Pahu scored a run
(with the exception of jefe and coach - losers)

bonus points to coach as being the only person on the Na Pahu roster not to reach base.

and with that we head for midseason/summer break to return in a few weeks

Na Pahu Piha at 5-1
Na Pahu Piha: Season Four-ty Stylee

love
coach j

* - hahaha ... just kidding, seriously. please don't kick my ass if you see this

6/12: We Can't Be Stopped

2009-06-12T23:37:00.003-10:00

somebody cut our brake lines after season three, and Na Pahu Piha is in full-on runaway truck mode. we're so good - we beat three teams at once

in response to a poor showing from Quiet Hands - 4 wahine, 0 kane - Na Pahu faced an all-star squad known as Ka'ala-Quiet-Assistance. Na Pahu found herself a little short-handed, fielding 10, but it didn't matter. The game was close all night long - but a four run fourth inning proved to be just a little too much Na Pahu for the all stars

final score:
Na Pahu Piha 9
Ka'ala-Quiet-Assistance 7

MVP awards go to.....
Coach: 3/3, 3 runs scored
Steve: 3/3, 3 runs scored
Hemant: 2/3, at least 2 rbis, played with a grade three concussion
Joe: at least 3 rbi, pitched 6 solid innings
Michelle: 2/3, rbi, solid plays at 2B
Adrian: 1/3 - well...still gettin' some love from last week i guess
Sunny: 1/3, solid catching, dog barking distracted opposing hitters
Jamie: not some much action with the bat - but some killer catches and near-catches in the outfield
Meaghan: 2/3, run scored, stellar debut at 1B
Sia: 1 run scored, 3 cigarettes smoked in the outfield

6/5: From Goat to Showboat With The Swing Of A Bat

2009-06-07T14:46:00.008-10:00

Na Pahu on cruise control is a sight to see...four innings of virtual no-hit ball from jefe on the mound and some consistent hitting - including reminisces of mark nelson with a home run bomb from big steve and through four innings - good guys were up 5.

The wheels began to fall off the cart in the fifth as jefe did his very best to make it interesting by walking a couple of folks. hemant followed up with a grade three concussion - but after six Na Pahu was still sitting pretty at 6-3.

to simply get three outs and end the game would be boring
...i presume that's what jefe was thinking
potential out #1 - ground ball to jefe and....skyball
potential out #2 - ground ball to jefe and....bobble bobble roll
potential out #3 - line drive to jefe and...dropped ball and....skyball
potential out #4 - ground ball to jefe and...bobble roll roll

throw a few base hits in the mix and we got ourselves a tie game.

chuck hosed us on a few calls in the bottom of seventh to set up extra innings
after regulation

Na Pahu Piha 6
On The House 6

to the extra frame...

coach...freshly anointed with a leadership training course under his belt...motivated jefe by detailing all the mistakes he had made in an effort to crush his will and remind him that if we lost the game it was all his fault.

it seemed to work until On the House threatened to score with a hit to right field, but a rocket throw right on the money from james to nail the runner at home and .... oh .... another error for jefe. Bad guys go up one.

jefe earns his trophy...
last chance for Na Pahu - bottom of the 8th - runners on second and third - one run in - with one out and the cosmos aligned ... jefe stepped to the plate with the chance to win the game (or continue to stink it up). he hits a measly dribbler to the shortstop who promptly threw home for the ou...error...Na Pahu wins

we'll take the slop - and jefe earns himself the Kick Ass award for the game, despite all efforts to single-handily lose the game - congratulations jefe and Na Pahu Piha...that moves us to 3 - 1

takin' the citywide softball league by storm

5/15: Third Times A Chump

2009-06-07T14:45:00.003-10:00

ka'alawai could smell the stench of confidence emitting from an undefeated Na Pahu Piha and promptly put us in our place with a quick 6 up 6 run start of the first inning. with that said, Na Pahu held in there and made it a game

all good things must come to an end

final score:
Ka'alawai 11
Na Pahu 7

'tis better to have played and lost then to have never played at all

a mere blemish on what looks to be a record-setting season for Na Pahu Piha

5/8: Hauʻoli Lā Hānau ... and Suck It

2009-05-10T21:01:00.008-10:00

that's right, Na Pahu is officially one year old and the baby we knew not so long ago - runnin' around aimlessly - dropping pop flies - striking out - touching the wrong home plate - is all grown up...and really drunk...as a scheduling snafu had Na Pahu drinking in the bleachers for a solid hour and change prior to a showdown with our favorite red-shirted arch-nemesis...Public ASSistance. after a quality win last week - and a solid year of 'suck' - Chuck decided to pity us with an opportunity to build the first ever Na Pahu Piha winning streak.

in true Na Pahu fashion it wasn't looking too promising as we puttered around with P-ass for four innings. i wish i could say we 'battled', but that would be a gross overstatement - our bats were junk - but luckily so were theirs

after four action-lacked innings, P-ass held a flaccid 1 - 0 lead.

then maybe the alcohol kicked in...or wore off...either way, seven consecutive hits later and Na Pahu is sitting pretty

Undefeated...and it feels sooooo good.

final score:
Na Pahu Piha 5
P-Ass 1

5/1: Season Four-ty

2009-05-02T00:29:00.007-10:00

we got three under our belt which means we are in for a wild ride...let Season Four begin.

Game one saw Na Pahu Piha squaring off against a familiar foe - HT2
(formerly known as Hawaiian Telcom 2 aka Mixed Plate)

we fielded a healthy mix of newbies, long lost players, and cranky old vets. however, the game started in typical Na Pahu fashion as HT2 quickly racked up 4 runs in the top of the first, despite deVan's efforts to pitch around everyone - a chuck rule finally paid dividends and we got a free third out because they only had 3 wahine.

Jefe led off for Na Pahu and would set the tone for the season - so to speak....and he popped up to the catcher....pobrecito!...it appeared Na Pahu was ready to crawl into a hole and die. Alas, out of the blue, perhaps by the hand of god? (yeah probably...or maybe obama) - a tropical hit storm of biblical proportions rained down on HT2 and after inning one the game sat 4 - 4.

innings 2 - 4 were your classic hard-nosed, stout, defensive pitching duels...which of course is completely foreign to Na Pahu but we held our own with stellar plays by outfielders, rovers, infielders, pitchers, and catchers, oh my!

top 5 and the wheels were trying to fall off - with a runner on - big bad Duke hit a ball that just about had a seat at the bar at Anna's. it looked as it could get worse until meaghan gave her best patrick roy (or martin brodeau...or simeon varlamov) impression and stopped the bleeding.

bottom 5, top of the order for Na Pahu ... HT2 6 Na Pahu Piha 4 ... chuck gives the '6 mins' call. jefe walks (no comment) - james pokes one into left field and jefe steals a page from the 'how to play softball like a winner' book and takes third on a relay throw into second base (thus making up for the walk)...two runners on when joe toes the plate

not sure if it was in response to a heckler from the Na Pahu bench or in response to a brief tussle with the pitcher earlier in the game but behind a bellowing 'RIGHT THERE' (or something like that) joe tied it up with a 2rbi triple over the outfielders heads ... eerily similar to Wood Chip's game winner back in season two....then with two out - jess and his bumblebee socks slapped in the go ahead run...followed by back-to-back hits by newbies michelle and steve...then Chuck pulled the plug. Na Pahu f'in Piha. undefeated.

Na Pahu Piha 8+
HT2 6

MVP award goes to everyone
...seems fitting for us to win game #40

3/19: Na Pahu Goes Bipolar

2009-03-23T19:07:00.004-10:00

double fresh
double smooth
double delicious Na Pahu.

double header goodness for Na Pahu...and tasty matchups taboot

game one saw Na Pahu showdown with arch-nemesis P-ass

man·ic (mnk)

adj. Psychiatry

Relating to, affected by, or resembling mania.

Na Pahu bats around in the first dropping a cool 10 spot on them social workin' suckas
notable performances put in by all...with the manic crown to rob who goes 3-3 ?!?
waaaaaaat?!?
evidently no boobs necessary tonite.

Na Pahu proceeds to coast to its first victory of the season: 14 - 5
Hypomania ensues...

Loveland Academy (aka Quiet Hands) decided to test their luck against a steamy Na Pahu in game two

de·pres·sion (d-prshn)n.

1. The condition of feeling sad or despondent.

2. Psychology A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.

3. a. A reduction in activity or force.

b. A reduction in physiological vigor or activity: a depression in respiration.

c. A lowering in amount, degree, or position.

Na Pahu putters away the lead late only to lose 5-4 on a homerun in the last inning
bummer eh?

Na Pahu: Season Three Recap (first half)

2009-03-23T18:34:00.009-10:00

Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other...

Niele: 7 - 13 (LOSS)
Loveland: 7 - 10 (LOSS)
HMSA: 12 - 13 (LOSS)
Bi Bim Bap: 8 - 22 (LOSS)
Ka'alawai: 2 - 11 (LOSS)
Aidono: 12 - 13 (LOSS)

it's okay - we are just saving ourselves for the second half of the season

Na Pahu Piha III

2009-01-12T17:45:00.005-10:00

aloha Na Pahu Piha...

...E Komo Mai - Season III

1/8: Playoff Layoff

2009-01-12T17:44:00.010-10:00

the stars finally aligned for the Citywide Softball League Division 2 playoffs. Na Pahu fielded an all-star lineup (as always) for the round two matchup (...originally scheduled for 12/18). unfortunately, our playoff poledance had grown stale over the holidaze...
the layoff proved to be too much.

we found ourselves head-to-head with hi telcom for the 3rd time this season...they say it's really difficult to beat a team three times in one season - but hi telcom didn't seem to have too much trouble. you could say they "have our number" [insert laugh track here]

Na Pahu played quite well actually...the telcom just had too much firepower and were hitting the ball with sniperesque accuracy. like the dude who just figured he'd hit it off the japanese cultural center every at bat. jefe pitched well - aside from the grand slam, 3run homerun, and solo shot he gave up to said dude.their logo is eerily similar to the softball's flying off their bats - which unfortunately - were legal. devan threw the challenge flag and we even got a booth review but the ruling on the field was upheld - homerun(s)

on another note - hi telcom is in bankruptcy proceedings - so we'll give 'em this one.

final score
innings 1-2:
Hi Telcom 12
Na Pahu 5

innings 3-7:
Hi Telcom 3
Na Pahu 5

stay tuned for season three...

Happy Holidaze

2008-12-25T10:05:00.006-10:00

wishing you and your families and friends good health and happiness
through the holidaze and right on through 2009.

...if you are not into the whole santa-thing here's some holiday love from the 'aina (xmas 2007)

12/4: Playoff Poledance

2008-12-06T13:51:00.005-10:00

Playoffs - Playoffs - Playoffs

Round One
Na Pahu Piha vs. Loveland (aka Quiet Hands)

Na Pahu fielded a concentrated (10 person) division one caliber lineup and we blew out the gates in the first inning as we batted through the lineup, scoring 6, but unfortunately left na pahu piha with the poorly timed return of "old-rob".

inning by inning 'quiet hands' chipped away at our lead and we began to play down to their level - jefe and toby went for their best bad news bears impression on a few occasions.
a few close calls didn't go our way and we found ourselves down two, faced with our last at bat.

the air was thick, filled with nervous tension.
spencer proclaims....'i'll do a poledance if we win'
evidently, that's the kind of gimmick Na Pahu responds to, but just to keep things interesting we could only muster 2 runs - leaving the score 10-10 at the end of 7.

to extra innings we go...
runner on second to start the inning and Na Pahu breaks serve - shutting down quiet hands in the top of the 8th. Na Pahu's turn at the plate and coach got the honor of second base...them suckas was toast. skaidra eagle-eyed her way to first base with a walk, and then wood chip proceeded to rocket-launch a ball over the left fielders' head - pau.

final score (8 innings)
Na Pahu Piha 11
Loveland 10

on to round two....

...talk the talk you best walk the walk - spencer's poledance:

11/21: Can We Get A Mulligan?

2008-12-02T11:45:00.011-10:00

Spirits were high after our near epic upset last game against niele - although it could have also been the free whiskey at Star - or the Willows pre-game beer tasting...Na Pahu again found themselves playing tough against a far superior team (strictly talent-wise, we have a superior vibe) - the Palau Powerhouse. Everyone brought their bat (rob was still ridin' the boob-juice) and fielding was impeccable early on.

after four innings...
Na Pahu 13
Palau 5

chuck was rubbing his eyes in disbelief...then the alarm clock went off and we woke up from our dream....inning 5 - not so good. the Palau powerhouse decided to start playing (and hit with baseball bats i might add - that's bullshit by the way)...or was it the pitching change?

toby now has the distinction of being the first Na Pahu pitcher yanked mid-inning, but before you call coach an asshole check the line - it reeks! (and at least he got to sit on the bench - relax - and enjoy a cold beer)

wood chip: 0 outs recorded, 12 hits, 12 runs (a few errors but whose counting)

jefe runs out of fingers trying to assess the damage

jefe returned to the mound - not to fare much better
all told for the inning...Palau sent 21 to the plate - scoring 18
it was absolute carnage - chuck put us to sleep after the top of the fifth

i hope you took the over...
final score
Palau 23
Na Pahu 15

rob (post-boob): 8/10

Na Pahu - somber in defeat

11/13: Ladies Night

2008-11-15T14:51:00.002-10:00

Na Pahu faced what undoubtedly would be a lopsided affair against the league champs - Niele.
it was to be another shot of Na Pahu concentrate as we expected to barely be able to field a full team...but, in reality, came up a few short. Na Pahu Piha fielded it's first ever wahine rule lineup: 5 homegirls 4 homeboys - coach was confident.

maybe it was the full moon? maybe it was na wahine? me thinks the latter.
Niele came swingin' out of the gates and homeboy hit one off the tree in right field - despite the big bomb - jefe held them to 3. Na Pahu set themselves up to creep back into it - for at least an inning - but those damn three-out foul balls really bite you in the ass.

Na Pahu played exceptional defense for the remainder of the game and we had more double plays than errors - you catch that?...more double plays than errors....more double plays than errors.

sadly - we couldn't hit for shit - but nonetheless put forth a valiant effort in defeat ... this performance will go down in the Na Pahu Piha Hall of Fame as one of the greatest games we ever played.

final score
Niele 5
Na Pahu Piha 1

11/6: Bi Bim Bap'ped

2008-11-15T14:50:00.005-10:00

...turns out they weren't korean

bi bim bap 9
na pahu piha 3

rob (post-boob) -> 6/6 = 1.000

10/30: Rob-a-licious

2008-11-15T14:49:00.002-10:00

a rematch with On The House - who have the dubious distinction of providing Na Pahu Piha with it's first ever victory. the night started off innocently enough... newbie phoebe knocked in hemant (...already redeeming himself) to put Na Pahu up 1-0 after two innings.

it's quite clear that the momentum shifted in Na Pahu's favor during the third inning...as two (although i guess technically four) of rob's friends showed up....and what fantastic friends rob has! it appears rob just needed breasts to straighten out his swing?...as he promptly lined one that dribbled into the outfield*. it was all downhill from there for On The House - inspired by the drive-by flashing Na Pahu dropped 6 in the fourth - hilighted by a 3 run infield dribbler turned inside the park home run by Phoebe - and 5 in the fifth...after the fifth Isaac put On The House to sleep and out of their misery

final score
Na Pahu Piha 13
On The House 1

yes...that would be SLAUGHTER rule, and yes, two victories in less than 7 days

* - a new feature of the blog will be a running tally of rob's batting statistics (post-boob)
as of 10/30 -> 3/3 = 1.000

10/29: Can't Spell Hemant Without The "E"

2008-11-15T14:47:00.002-10:00

our bellies full of victory from the P-ass game, Na Pahu was expectedly due for a smack-down...and Matsuno was happy to oblige...maybe they are still pissed b/c we beat them in that scrimmage a while back

the hemant error machine was well-oiled and in full effect tonight - muff after flub after bobble after fumble - eh, you get the picture...we had him on suicide watch post-game.

unfortunately chuck wasn't there to fix the game and allow us to score at least one run and save some dignity - but hey...you give that up everytime you don the blaze orange and take the field for Na Pahu, yes?

final score*
Matsuno 16
Na Pahu 0

* - for those keeping score at home we have now lost to Matsuno twice with a combined score of 32 - sunny...brutal, eh?

10/24: Payback's a Bitch

2008-11-15T14:46:00.004-10:00

ah...good 'ole P-ass - if you don't remember these jokers, here's a refresher.

while we didn't have the numbers - we fielded a 9-person Na Pahu concentrate (becuase we only had 3 wahine)...it didn't trip us up in the least bit. The game proved to be as much of a nail-biter as our first matchup, but that's only b/c they got some Palau power (4 Palauan ringers that accounted for all of their runs and about 80% of their defensive outs)...but we had the power of bootz
overall, a rather lackluster performance by Na Pahu, definitely playing down to our opponents - but we did manage to pile on 8 runs in the third inning which proved to be enough.

game ball goes to jefe for coming up big on the mound...top of the 7th inning, up by 2, 2 outs, winning run at the plate - who just happened to be the first of the four Palauan studs that hit in a row - and jefe gots him to pop up and jefe makes the catch - PAU, bitches!

Na Pahu 9

P-ass 7

...way to show those social workers the harsh reality of life (as if they don't see that enough)
Chuck witnesses his first Na Pahu Piha victory - and is proud!

10/16: Championship Rematch

2008-11-15T14:45:00.004-10:00

...the long-awaited division 2 Summer Championship rematch...Na Pahu Piha vs. Umi Kumakahi

sadly, coach was busy in Bangkok getting physically removed (and nearly arrested - i think?) from a muay thai boxing match for drinking outside alcohol with homeboy Samak
...according to the scorebook it looks like we lost.

hopefully homeboy let his wahine swing the bat this time - the repeated orders of 'don't swing' during the championship game was awful - especially when he told me that i should have had our wahine walk - nuts to that, na wahine are better than i am.

final score
umi kumakahi - umi kumakahi (how convenient, eh?)
na pahu piha - 'eha

10/2: Notsoweezee (pt II)

2008-11-15T14:27:00.009-10:00

so it turned out that cobra kai bailed at the last minute - they must have heard that coach ordered folks to practice their crane poses...providing us a chance to avenge our loss the prior week to Mixed Plate - aka the rogue Hawaiian Telcom team that formed their own team because they didn't like their coach....don't get any ideas suckas!

upon realizing that we got hosed out of our last at bat in the previous matchup we agreed to get an extra 3 outs in our first at bat. unfortunately, while everyone playing was okay with it - the sketchy substitute umpire tweaked out on some ice-induced power trip and threatened to leave the field (after nearly throwing miriah out of the game before she was even able to take a swing at the plate)

during pregame jefe was treated to a rousing motivational finger squeeze by our beloved Na Pahu mascot - Anwar...jefe proceeded to head out to the mound and put 'em away - 3 up 3 down
It seemed that we just might have a chance tonight...unfortunately the blessing did not last and Mixed Plate hit through their line up in the second inning ... and the third inning...and the fourth inning.
too much 'Prime Time' for Na Pahu - a true double threat - he shut us down on the mound then proceeded to get a hit every at bat....the runs piled up and toby, given his first chance to work the scorebook, could be heard muttering 'this is really stressful' - well NO SHIT - welcome to my world!

final score

Mixed Plate 17

Na Pahu Piha 7

9/25: Game Two - Notsoweezee

2008-09-27T11:24:00.002-10:00

game 2 of the doubleheader saw Na Pahu come crashing back to reality...season one style play from Na Pahu in the field - and before we know it - we be down 5-0
jefe settled us down and we played a consistent and competitive game (if you take out the first and last inning). in fact - we actually didn't get our last at bat for some reason - i will be filing a formal protest with chuck.

Hawaiian Telcom B: 14
Na Pahu Piha: 6

9/25: Game One - Itsoweezee

2008-09-27T11:19:00.003-10:00

let the scorebook tell the story:Final Score:
Na Pahu 18
Quiet Hands 4

9/18: New Season, Same Result

2008-09-19T10:44:00.010-10:00

Opening Day - Season Two: 9/18

pre-game spirits were high as Na Pahu reacquainted ourselves after the long off-season and relished in our silver medal performance from season one...also, i think a few folks had already started drinking

The evening marked the debut of Na Pahu Piha's official mascot - Anwar (...4 months into life and already representin')...as well as the return of some long lost players (Miriah, Joe, Ayesha) and some newbies (Afsheen and Spencer) joined the mess that is Na Pahu Piha...we were rolling deep with 18 players on the books.

It turned out to be a record setting evening as Na Pahu had it's first game where we did not give up any runs in the first 2 innings...and second consecutive 7 inning game...all in all, we played a solid 6 innings (down 6-4 after 6), but we done bought the farm in the 7th.

Final Score:
HI Telcom - 12
Na Pahu Piha - 4

word on the street is that Fantasy _fill in the blank_ is hot right now - costing the nation billions of dollars in reduced workforce productivity...so for the fantasy softball players out there here is a summary of Na Pahu Piha fantasy results from week one

Fantasy Studs
1. Matt (2 h, 3 rbi, 1 r)
2. Miriah (every out at first base, 1 ntnspc)
3. Anwar (7 innings and no poop)
4. Toby (1 rogp)

Fantasy Duds
1. Coach* (0 h, 1 pah, 5 bc, 1 e, 1 bf, 1 dd)
2. Ass Coach (showed up but didn't play??)
3. Hemant (1 pah, 1 e, 1 cttsi)

h = hit
rbi = run batted in
r = run
ntnspc = no take no shit protest call
rogp = rolling on ground play
pah = pulled a hemant
bc = beers consumed
e = errors
bf = broken fingers
dd = drunk dial
cttsi = car towed to sand island

* as of 9/20 - Coach's status has been upgraded from doubtful to questionable for the upcoming doubleheader thursday 9/25.

love
coach j

9/5: 40oz of Defeat - Na Pahu Settles For Silver Medal

2008-09-14T14:29:00.004-10:00

a valiant effort from Na Pahu in the championship game. we had the game tied going into the last inning, but couldn't shut the door - eh, we had the winning run at the plate though.

i think it was the first complete 7 inning game that we played.
final score:

Umi Kumakahi 5
Na Pahu 3

good enough for the silver medal.

no time for rest...season 2 is right around the corner.

Na Pahu Piha Bum Rushes Championship Game

2008-09-04T17:44:00.004-10:00

Honolulu Citywide Softball League

Division 2 Championship Game

Friday, September 5

7:30pm

Na Pahu Piha

vs.

some poor suckas

9/3: Playoff Victory: A note on color theory

2008-09-04T17:14:00.019-10:00

A tumultuous dip into the waters of democracy to decide uniform colors was quickly calmed by the life vest of authoritarianism as coach worked behind to scenes to provide the best color for the people. our duds arrived in time for the playoffs - just the kind of gimmick we needed. energy was high as each member of Na Pahu appeared to glow as soon as they adorned their blaze orange jersey

"what in the hell? - orange?" a few of the ungrateful muttered. well, here's a simple explanation for simple minds....let me diverge into color theory for a moment...in color theory, two colors are called complementary if, when mixed in the proper proportion, they produce a neutral color. As applied to softball - Na Pahu languished in sky blue to the tune of a 0-12 record. So if we throw a dolop of orange on there we should get on the right track towards balancing out that losing record - 'neutrality' if you will.

I pity the fool that tries to argue with this logic once we win the championship on Friday night.

...now on to the loss of innocence...

The game reeked of intensity from the outset as the field was dragged and watered pre-game and the opposing coach was whining about my substitution strategy (apparently illegal) - all hints that this game was fo' real.

Na Pahu won the toss and took the field. The cloud of intimidation was thick as Na Pahu took the field in a Blaze (orange) of Glory - the other coach went so far as to complain that we had too many people in the field - sorry buddy, nice try. However, 'twas a typical first inning performance for Na Pahu as we played the field a bit tight and apprehensive - 'House' puttered out 5 runs - swinging bunt after swinging bunt with a few walks thrown in the mix. Na Pahu countered with a whopping ostrich egg in the bottom half - t'ree up t'ree down.

'House' somehow managed to essentially bunt in two more runs in the second inning leaving Na Pahu in very comfortable surroundings...down 7 runs. In the Na Pahu half of the second we decided to loosen up and let the foreplay begin. solid hitting performances from Na Pahu Piha - newbies and oldies alike - made the game a bit more respectable at 7-3 with the bad guys still in the lead.

Inning three proved to be the lubrication inning - taking care of business in the field and getting into the groove we tallied up three more runs to make the game 7-6

Legal substitutions took place in the fourth and Na Pahu didn't miss a beat. our 'student section' that arrived late to the game hit the field in full stride oozing a puss of intensity (maybe due to three innings of drinking on the bench?) and 'House' couldn't even get a measly runner on base. The infield made some mindblowing plays.

Bottom 4 saw the official deflowering of Na Pahu as the first 7 batters got basehits - nearly all of which made it to the outfield - with the highlights being a monstrous homerun by Wood Chip and a 2-rbi rip by Skaidra...after six runs in, two runners on base, one out and Chuck declaring that there were only 9 minutes left in the game - jack decided to have mercy on the poor fools and proceeded to hit the infamous three out foul ball (perhaps on his first swing? not sure exactly) - but don't kid yourself - he hit the shit out of homegirl-on-the-other-teams' car...kinda like mother theresa jamming her thumb in your eye.

'House' was able to bat one last time, and while we toyed with them and let them get some runners on base the Na Pahu defense shut the door.....and we win?!?

Final Score

Na Pahu 12

On the House 8

...on to the championship game

behold - Na Pahu Piha - undefeated in orange:

special thanks to all the fans that made it out to the game - mommy skaidra, metz/carini/fitz, zach's homegirl and homeboy, nate/gayle lurking in the urine-soaked bleachers, one dude i can't remember his name - and all those with us in spirit.

love - coach j

PLAYOFF SCHEDULE

2008-08-27T21:24:00.001-10:00

we got this in the bag - without a doubt. ...40's on coach when we win dis buggah.

Breaking News - uniform election results

2008-08-23T16:40:00.001-10:00

Associated Press
August, 23, 2008 - Manoa, HI

Na Pahu Piha went to the polls this week, at stake - uniforms for next season.

The Final Vote tally is summarized below (100% reporting):

Purple People Eater: 1
Cotton Candy: 0
Violet Beauregarde: 11
Wood Chip: 11
Wood Chip au lait: 2
Can't Decide: 0
Different Color: 0*
Not Na Pahu: 0

Per election rules, Violet Beauregarde and Wood Chip were scheduled for a runoff on Monday, August 25. However, an injunction was filed late Friday by City and County of Honolulu Board of Elections Administrator Tye Chump, indicating that incidence of voter fraud were reported in the kapiolani district. After review, Chump officially nullified the election results late Friday night, calling a special sealed-ballot election to be held early Saturday, August 23. "I could not be happier with how smooth things went this morning" Chump noted of the special election.

Shirts have been ordered...scheduled to arrive September 2, 2008

* - technically there were 15 votes for 'I'm a loser and want a different color'. However, self-loathing is not an attractive quality and therefore counts for nothing. As a member of Na Pahu Piha, you should reek of confidence and pride.

you like one uniform?

2008-08-18T18:08:00.003-10:00

aloha Na Pahu - it must have been the uniforms that were holding us back, eh?
Below find the finalists* for the Fall season duds - try vote on the left frame - you got until Friday to have your voice** heard. NO funny business on the voting you dirty bastards - you get one vote

Option 1: Na Pahu Piha Purple People Eater
Option 2: Na Pahu Piha Purple People Eater with blue cotton candy stuck in teeth
Option 3: You're turning violet, Violet! (although it looks more like light blue, huh?)
Option 4: The Wood Chip - part of the Toby Wood Fall 2008 Collection
Option 5: The Wood Chip - au lait

*-if you don't like what you see...tough shit...we'll probably get new ones next year
**-your voice is subject to coach, ass coach, and jefe approval with coach willing to veto democracy if need be.

Na Pahu finishes its inaugural season a perfect 0-12 !

2008-08-18T18:07:00.000-10:00

8/8 Showing Improvement

2008-08-12T16:27:00.000-10:00

Wassup Na Pahu!

Great game on Friday! With some last minute additions to the team courtesy of Jefe Ramirez we were able to narrowly avoid our first forfeit and put together one hell of a team effort. We were just a run down going into the bottom of the second to last inning when the wheels came off. This week will be your last chance to flash some leather and/or get a hit as it's our last game of the season. Still waiting on someone to dive for a ball and of course we all want to see Rob get a hit without killing Chuck in the process. Let's see how big a group we can run out there for our last game.

Please let me know if you'll be able to make it. Game time is 730 on Friday, August 15th. Try to be there for drinks, pupus and warm ups at 6:30. Aloha,Hemant

8/1 Friday Rompin

2008-08-11T09:40:00.000-10:00

last week was pretty brutal. we had to borrow a person from the otherteam, we forced sunny's poor mother to roam around aimlessly in rightfield and now probably rightfully resents all things american, caitlin couldnt keep score for the other team because she was chasing keikia round and rob would have had his first hit had he remembered to step on first base, but he made sure to throw the bat at chuck. i made sure to drink enough that night to forget about the whole thing, but its been haunting me ever since. so this week, a whole new ballgame!!! and we gotta pull out our first win while justin is away.

7/11: HI and tight

2008-07-13T21:21:00.000-10:00

with socks held high and musubis in our stomachs - Na Pahu made a triumphant return to action in the Citywide Softball League.Things were looking bright early (literally - our first game under natural light) as Chuck rolled up with a sarcastic 'hey, anybody lose some bats?' and busted out our long lost bats - left for dead - with a greasy grin. I'm sure there was a bit of awkwardness in batworld as the trusty red-handled wonders - spending three weeks in a strangers' truck sharing space with a bunch of invasive reptiles - now saw themselves resting next to 'The Warrior' and 'The Maverick'.

Umi Kumakahi were a formidable collection of ringers (the other coach was introducing himself to all his players before the game)...but were still one wahine short. Unfortunately, for the sake of sportsmanship - coach had to pimp out ass coach for an inning. Luckily it was a quickie trick - one and done - and back to where she belonged. Na Pahu was chock full of new faces - and good lookin' ones taboot. All-star performances were had by all the Na Pahu virgins - Allison, Lindsay, Elizabeth, and our Polish sausage - Leo.

undoubtedly, everyone finally got around to reading the book that i handed out at the end of the last game because our defense was flawless...truly unbelieveable and inspiring (Chuck was impressed). with all that said - we still lost...but it couldn't have been closer as we were tied 1-1 going into the bottom of the 5th inning. Umi Kumakahi dropped in a few dinky pop flies and all of a sudden got real serious and cruised around the bases scoring 2 in the fifth. However, Na Pahu stood strong and had the winning run at the plate in the top of 6, but just couldn't git 'er done.

final score: Umi Kumakahi 3 - Na Pahu 1

...word on the street is that the team we play next week sucks.

love,

coach j, ass coach nic, jefe ramirez

"one for the books...." (Bettinger 2008)

2008-07-02T22:55:00.000-10:00

that's right.... what started as a simple practice/drink-in-public session turned into Na Pahu's first-ever win (even if it was just a scrimmage)...the evening started with an honest round of batting practice....

we got into a groove...

it felt awkward at first, but before we knew it we were causin' damage - bustin' cups
...one of coach's favorite cups, obliterated by a scorcher down the line - kory - bringin' the payne! the kaimana klassic cup bit the dust about 15 minutes later...even ass coach was feelin' it...

catchin' blue moon, eh?

Ozzie approved of how Na Pahu was playing...

Matsuno hovered in the left field bleachers...watching us take infield like professionals

..."you like scrimmage?" they muttered. coach said, 'shit yeah'

it was on.

...despite losing 16-1 to Matsuno a mere month ago, Na Pahu hit the field - head held high, chest out - ready for retribution. The first inning saw solid defense from Na Pahu...if it weren't for an awful error by coach in left field, Na Pahu would've broken serve...instead, coach blew the play - new glove, yeah that was the problem? next pitch = grand slam over coach's head...Matsuno 4 Na Pahu 0.

Still riding the positive vibes from practice - jefe and ass coach found themselves on base. rob toed the plate...the stars aligned, yet again...and this time he done got himself his first base hit of the season.it was all downhill for Matsuno from there on out - they couldn't handle the beast that Na Pahu has become. we were drinking in the field - with only 7 players....getting unassisted double plays from center field... we even let balls hit us in the knee cap and hip-checked balls in the outfied - just to keep the game close....when all was said and done - it shaped up to be about:

Na Pahu 12
Matsuno 8

the Citywide Softball League bettah watch out for the second half of the season.

love

coach j, ass coach nic, jefe ramirez

6/13: T'ings wen get spooky

2008-06-15T20:25:00.000-10:00

...perhaps we should have seen it coming, after all, it was Friday the 13th.

Na Pahu gathered pre-game as the sun dipped into the Pacific Ocean - the lineup was thin, but solid...maybe it was rogue barbeque, maybe it was the moiliili men's room, or maybe all the crusty sky-blue shirts that didn't get washed from last week - but there was something in the air
our opponents? none other than dem buggahs from the local phone company - Hawaiian Telcom.
Na Pahu busted out of the gate with 4 quick runs in the top of the first - oh so easy...like liftin' copper wire - only to have 2 taken away because we screwed up the rules (...yet again). either way...after half an inning:

Na Pahu 2
HI Telcom 0

Reality set in soon as Hawaiian Telchump waddled up to the plate in the bottom of the first with their bats on their collective shoulder (and the associated wahine walks - Chuck you got some stupid rules) - u like walk or play softball? walk? ... okay losers ... i'll be sure note that junk on my check when i send in my next bill....memo: swing the bat chumps!

after 2 innings we found ourselves in familiar territory...
HI telchump 12
Na Pahu 2

the depressant effects of alcohol began to overpower Na Pahu - heads hung low - ass coach was feeling especially distraught
...but coach had a 4 of clubs up his sleeve.

it seemed an opportune time to inject some tapatio! bust out the secret weapon - jefe ramirez
...who - spiting doctor's orders in an inspirational moment that left not a single dry eye in the city (...or at least the Na Pahu bench. well, i think i saw Kim cry, maybe just had some dirt in her eye though?) - took the field for the first time.
the gimmick seemed to work as Na Pahu buckled down on the defensive front - giving up a mere run in the 3rd and a measly run in the 4th inning.

fast-forward to the top of the fifth....
HI Telchump 14
Na Pahu 4

den t'ings wen get spooky.....as the hits rained down as if the four horsemen of the apocalypse were riding into town - consecutive hits from zach, kim, toby, kalani, jefe, kory, rico....and...eh? wha' dis!?!
NA PAHU PIHA!!! mo'funka's!! ... mark toed the plate - called his shot to left field ala Babe Ruth - and promptly lined it to homegirl in right field that had no chance in hell of catching anything ... she couldn't catch hepatitis from the ala wai.

Na Pahu history - a grand plate lunch for mark - that's right, 4 scoops of rice with that one!

...this is what is looked like from the third base coaches' box.

Na Pahu struts into the mid-season break - heads held high - ready for the second half (...and ready for uniforms - more to come)

final score:
HI telchump 14
Na Pahu 11

love
coach j
ass coach nic
jefe ramirez

6/4 : Na Pahu shakes things up - lays an egg

2008-06-12T16:02:00.000-10:00

Feeling stagnant after a fourth consecutive loss Na Pahu altered her strategy against a formidable Niele squad - a team that embarrassed the team that embarrassed the team that embarrassed us

ONE - a number of us switched to hard liquor with the belief that the extra carbs were bogging Na Pahu down.The first fielding attempt at third saw coach throw a skyball that nearly made it to Willows! ...perhaps a little bogginess isn't bad - we'll have to find a happy medium for next game - maybe boilermakers?

TWO - Na Pahu showed a (nearly) united sky-blue front against Niele with the first team-wide t-shirt color mandate.....perhaps we need a more aggressive color?
...or perhaps we need our pitcher to get with the program and wear the right color shirt?

T'REE - Na Pahu brought the numbers with a record attendance of 17 people. It seems the word has gotten out....and we proved that bigger is better - our errors per person (EPP) ratio was way down - nice job Na Pahu! - we even rounded up a zombie with a handlebar-soulpatch combo so that if Niele wasn't nice to us he would eat their brains.
...in the end we came up a bit short as Niele batted about .950 for the game and no pity runs would be had

Final Score:
Niele 19
Na Pahu 0

eh...at least we got some used softballs out of it

love
coach j

drinking in public....or softball practice? yeah - that one

2008-05-29T23:26:00.000-10:00

Na Pahu hit the field - pau hana - for it's inaugural practice, in the hopes of impressing Chuck sometime in the coming weeks....or at the very least for the opportunity to drink in a school zone.
Na Pahu proved to be especially focused on the task at hand...
...coach attempted to explain to toby that one is not supposed to slide headfirst halfway between third base and homeplate, but should - in fact - keep running until one actually reaches homeplate.
coach made an effort to practice not falling on his ass in left field....with marginal success

skaidra worked on throwing runners out at homeplate from centerfield - textbook form - except that mark wasn't paying attention and the ball hit him in the shin...

hemant gave his best derek jeter impression at the plate - but looked more like chuck knoblach

...and everything went downhill from there.

watch out Chuck (...and Niele) - here comes the new and improved Na Pahu

coach j

5/21 - anybody can win a game...so we don't have to

2008-05-21T23:41:00.002-10:00

the vog had lifted, the stars were aligned...
...but we got our asses kicked anyways.

It was fitting to call the game when we finally scored a run. Despite extensive efforts by Chuck - requiring us to only get 2 outs on the other team and some blatant calls in our favor...'SAFE?!? - what am i thinking?' he could be heard mumbling under his breath - Na Pahu couldn't catch a break.

Final Score:
Matsuno 16 (...although it felt like 25)
Sunny....errrr Na Pahu 1

love
coach j
ass coach nic
jefe ramirez

5/16: Game Two - Police called, Na Pahu lose

2008-05-18T19:36:00.000-10:00

the police escorted Pablo off the field, but didn't seem to notice that we were being assaulted by Ka'alawai. Those suckas started off with 12 straight hits - 9 runs in the first inning. No pity for Na Pahu - they claimed that it took them two years to win a game, me thinks they lie.

Highlights on the defensive front:
a 3-out foul ball by the first batter in the third inning that minimized some of the damage.

Highlights on the offensive front:
Sunny scores, Janna and Mark 2-2 (both are hitting 1.000)

MVP: Keith's hat - which flew off his head at least 33 times over the course of the double-header

final score:
Ka'alawai 17
Na Pahu 4

love
coach j

5/16: Game One: Vog-a-licious

2008-05-18T18:35:00.001-10:00

under a thick voggy haze Na Pahu took the field for the front side of a double-header against our soon to be arch-nemesis 'Public Assistance'. We were two players short, but thankfully jill from cobra kai (...yeah like karate kid) stuck around to fill in for us so we didn't get hit with the 'not enough wahine rule'. Na Pahu jumped out of the gates in the top of the first with the first five Na Pahu batters reaching base (nice lineup coach) - scoring 3. however, in the bottom half, after coach fell on his ass and dropped a two-out fly ball, P-ass picked up 2. After one inning Na Pahu 3 - P-ass 2 .... fast forward to bottom of the sixth, bases loaded, 2 outs, tie game - how did Na Pahu get here? - and Public Ass drops one in for the game winning run. Final Score, P-ass 5 Na Pahu 4. Perhaps too premature for the win, but Na Pahu looked good, and P-ass looked scared - using the 'walk' method - losers...but hey they are social workers, they need something positive in their lives, we'll give'em this one

MVP - Janna: the Shack-attack

solid first base, 3 - 3, 2 RBI, 1 run scored (should have been 2 runs scored - stupid rules)

co runner-up MVPs - Alice and Alice

love - coach j

'Schools Out!' - same time same place - twice the fun

2008-05-12T19:31:00.000-10:00

Na Pahu -

time to quit crying over our opening day performance and get focused - games 2 & 3 - Friday 7:30pm & 8:30pm (this is directed primarily to rob, but i'm sure a few tears were shed by others)

this week's promotion:

'Schools Out' - Alice Cooper Night

in honor of Na Pahu's UH students and faculty finishing up the spring semester... 'schools out for summer...' (sing along). Come dressed as Alice Cooper and you get to pick your spot in the batting lineup and depending on how good you look you may get to pick where you play in the field...for reference:

this will get you the cleanup spot and centerfield for sure... in case you didn't pack your skulls when you moved to hawai'i or sold your stash at the last garage sale this one* may be more practical...
* - just so we don't encourage any bad habits - alice should really tighten up on his grip

see you friday
bring yo swing...and bleeding eyes

love,
coach j
ass coach nic
jefe ramirez

Na Pahu finishes a close second....

2008-05-11T21:19:00.001-10:00

...but we're no Eight Belles - we live to play another week
if you take off the 3 we actually won 2-1.
i would like to say we played well and it was a hard-fought loss, but i wasn't there - so i won't.

from the looks of it we were at least intimidating - constantly yelling and drooling on ourselves - it was a good strategy that may pay off for us in the future

jefe ramirez provides the recap for the week:
"game summary? ........game summary? i gotta game summary for you - we got our assess handed to us after they chewed it up. rob hits like a girl and no one knows what they are doing."

well said jefe.

Na Pahu - use this as motivation for next week - let's get chewy!

coach j
ass coach nic
jefe ramirez

gloryhallistoopid !

2008-05-04T18:38:00.000-10:00

that's right - it's softball season...Opening Day! - this Friday (May 9) 7:30pm

be there roundabout 7 for talk story and get yo pre-game buzz on

(be it through mental exercises visualizing your home run swing, hydrating with water, or chugging 40s - doowatchulike)

this week's promotion - 'Bring a friend to the ballpark'

...that's right - come to the ballpark to play some softball and your friend gets to play as well - what a deal!! fun for all, and hopefully we won't have to forfeit our first game.

i'll forgo a shirt-color mandate for this week...wear whatever color you feel will make you the best softball player you can be...and we'll let the vibe guide us to a team color

the citywide softball league has no idea what it's in store for once Na Pahu hits the field

shoots

love

coach j

ass coach nic

NA PAHU PIHA

10/26: Winning

10/12: SKUNKED

9/9: Thank you for coming...

Season 'It would be nice to field' Eleven

6/17: You Always Hurt the Ones You Love

6/10: Badass Wahine Ball

Season Ten: Holy Moses!

4/20: Double Birthday....What Does It Mean?

4/15: This is getting old....

4/8: Pop Quiz

4/1: Everybody plays the fool

Who wants some action?

Season 9 Recap So Far... (cartoon version)

Season 9: Make It Rain

Season Eight Playoffs: Round Two

Season Eight Playoffs

1/5: Add Another to the Rack

2010: Earthquakes, Icelandic Volcanoes, Eclipses - Oh My!

12/8: Bubble Boy

12/3: The Winds of Mo'ili'ili

11/19: Frosted Tips Strikes Again

11/10: So Close...Yet Not

10/22: Akua

Sloppy and Choppy

Ipu Piha (Sofa Kingdom game pt II)

Sofa King Great!

Season 8: OctoPahu

Dynasty ..... CANCELED !!

All you want to do is ride around....

Breaking News !

Hit the snooze button Na Pahu

Hang your head in shame!

Na Pahu Piha VII

Back to Back Champions !!

2/26: Earthquake at 2nd Base

2/19: Kickin' It Old School

Na Pahu Piha VI: Ready to Rock!!

1/27: Grill dat cheese!

1/8: Season 5 Playoffs

10/23: Subdural Hematoma

10/16: A Beast on the Mound

10/9: Rotten Mangoes

10/2: birfday!

Season ......

6/19: Like A Walk In The Park

6/12: We Can't Be Stopped

6/5: From Goat to Showboat With The Swing Of A Bat

5/15: Third Times A Chump

5/8: Hauʻoli Lā Hānau ... and Suck It

5/1: Season Four-ty

3/19: Na Pahu Goes Bipolar

Na Pahu: Season Three Recap (first half)

Na Pahu Piha III

1/8: Playoff Layoff

Happy Holidaze

12/4: Playoff Poledance

11/21: Can We Get A Mulligan?

11/13: Ladies Night

11/6: Bi Bim Bap'ped

10/30: Rob-a-licious

10/29: Can't Spell Hemant Without The "E"

10/24: Payback's a Bitch

10/16: Championship Rematch

10/2: Notsoweezee (pt II)

9/25: Game Two - Notsoweezee

9/25: Game One - Itsoweezee

9/18: New Season, Same Result

9/5: 40oz of Defeat - Na Pahu Settles For Silver Medal

Na Pahu Piha Bum Rushes Championship Game

9/3: Playoff Victory: A note on color theory

PLAYOFF SCHEDULE

*Breaking News* - uniform election results

you like one uniform?

Na Pahu finishes its inaugural season a perfect 0-12 !

8/8 Showing Improvement

8/1 Friday Rompin

7/11: HI and tight

"one for the books...." (Bettinger 2008)

6/13: T'ings wen get spooky

Breaking News - uniform election results